Mysteries So Bright

The sentence in Richard Lovelace’s book, Dynamics of Spiritual Life, that contains the words, “deeply deluded,” caught my attention. (You can click on the link to read the excerpt).  The reading is not easy, but that passage says to me that I don’t want to admit that I cannot win the battle that rages between my old self – the part of me that is angry and hateful at times – and the new life that I have been given in Jesus.

I am deeply deluded into thinking that I can overcome those things if I just keep trying hard enough.  And I think if I can just understand the causes of this bad nature that are hidden away in my subconscious, then maybe I can then master myself and prevent that type behavior.  I have exerted much energy in this futile exercise over a major part of my lifetime.

And Lovelace puts his finger on the very reason I hang on to this misconception: “…we do not want to face the despair of having to live in conscious helpless awareness of [sin’s] tyranny, [afraid of] abusing the grace and forgiveness of Christ.”  In reality it hurts my pride to think I have to keep getting help from Jesus.   Gratefully I have experienced his grace in forgiveness for past sins in order to be reconciled to God.   To me it seems unfair to have to lean on him to also get rid of the bad behavior to which my new conscience has been made sensitive.

I want to say that I have been traveling this fruitless path for at least 50 years, always making an excuse for some bad behavior (for example, yelling at my wife unjustly), then repenting and resolving never to commit that offense again.  And I can report that this striving to conquer my bad nature on my own does not work.  I accomplish very little toward changing my old nature;  I can only temporarily tame it.

There is only one way out of this “maze of twisty little passages all alike” ¹.”  And that way is found at the same place that our salvation was found: at the cross where Jesus died for us.  Only Jesus has the power to destroy the tyranny of sin over our lives.  As Lovelace says, who is quoting Paul,  “…we have died with Christ, and have been raised up together with him in newness of life.   Therefore we are not to set the estimates of our power to conquer sin according to past experiences of our will power, but are to fix our attention on Christ and the power of his risen life in which we participate: for we have died and our life is hidden with Christ in God.”

At least one more thing needs to be said about this sanctification process:  it is an on-going, daily decision that I must make.  Will I this day allow the power that is in the life of Jesus Christ do its work in me?  Or will I be foolish to think I can walk alone without faltering today?  Again, from experience, I can bear witness that every time I decide not to trust Jesus for my source of strength, that I soon find that I have “wandered into desert wastes, hungry and thirsty, my soul has fainted within me” (Psalm 107, paraphrase).  My joy is gone; I retreat into my “shell” and wallow in self-pity, wondering what went wrong.

“Wretched man that I am!  Who will deliver me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 7:25 ESV). As soon as I “cry to the Lord in my trouble, he delivers me from my distress”(Ps. 107). One more chance to learn not to go it alone.

I shared a testimony at East End Fellowship yesterday about this past year’s teaching on the Sermon on the Mount. I talked about the passage ending “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:25-33).

I think that this verse describes my goal in life, and, by faith, I say I believe that I belong to another kingdom other than this earthly one; I agree with Ephesians 2:6: “God… raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,”, that I am truly seated with Christ in the heavens.

But do I really practice this? Is this real to me? I would say for the most part I do not live in the reality of this. Why not? The problem is that this heavenly kingdom is not visible; I cannot know it with my 5 senses of seeing, touching, smelling, tasting, or hearing. This reality is sensed only spiritually, and that sensing is not easy for us earth-bound creatures. If I ask myself, “How much of my time am I aware of God’s kingdom, or, how much of my mental processes are focused on the Lord Jesus?” I find myself coming up with a low score on this scale.

What can change this condition of not living in the reality of the heavenly kingdom? Notice that I am trying to avoid the question, “What can I do about it?” Unlike Yoda’s advice to young Luke in Star Wars, it is not about trying, nor is it about doing something. Jesus was asked this in John 6:28-29 “Then they said to him, “What must we do, to be doing the works of God?” Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.””

Because the work has been finished, and it is complete, there is nothing more that I can do to add to what Jesus has done. Paul said, “The fullness of the Godhead bodily dwells in our Lord, and we are complete in Him.” (Colossians 2:9-10). I simply need to abide there, live in Jesus. But, how do I abide in Him instead of mostly living elsewhere?

Paul says earlier in Colossians 2:6-7, (from The Message) “My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you’ve been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You’re deeply rooted in him. You’re well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you’ve been taught. School’s out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving.”

I need to see – more than see, but know – in my heart that this is where my deepest need and fulfillment is found. It is what I was created for. The ancients asked: “What is the chief end of man? Answer. Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him for ever” – And this is true. There is no real living, real fulfillment, real happiness elsewhere.

I can find a hint of this way of living when I recall every time I been surprised by one of those sweet times of joy, those almost painful longings of my soul for something of beauty, of love, of peace, that have come suddenly before me in my walk down the path of life. Isn’t there something eternal in those times? I declare, “yes, there is.”

Maybe it is seeing something beautiful in the sky, or in the garden, or in an act of kindness that someone does for another person. Or it can be in the sudden understanding of a verse of scripture that has never opened up before. These events surely are arranged by the Holy Spirit – He is whispering to my heart how great is His love for me and you.

And when I acknowledge this in glorifying Him, I find true happiness pours out upon me in blessings – this is enjoying Him forever. It does not have to be just for a rare occasion; this is what Jesus found at all times, and longs for us to find – “that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves.” (John 17) and “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” (John 15)

I just need for my heart to be convinced and frequently reminded that this place of real joy and happiness is found only in Jesus. If my heart is convinced in that truth, I will quit wasting time chasing the things of the world that only bring false and temporary pleasure.

C. S. Lewis said, “Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by an offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

What Lewis says is true – I mostly stumble through my day, indulging in one of my favorite pastimes, or maybe trying to achieve something, striving after some goal that will bring some sense of achievement, maybe, but, alas, I find its reward is so shallow and fleeting.

On the other hand, when I am able to “practice the presence of God” throughout the day, I finally start finding real peace and fulfillment. I suggest that this starts by deliberately setting aside a time each day to enter into my prayer closet and like Mary, linger at the feet of Jesus for a little while, learn who He is, what His aroma is like, what His tone of voice sounds like, what He is feeling, learning how can I serve Him, asking in what way can I join Him in serving others. And then afterwards arising and going out in that knowledge which strengthens me.

And I can sing to Him. I find it easy to think of Him by worshiping in music with my voice or playing keyboard for Him. I can write love letters to Jesus – it helps to keep a prayer journal, jotting down my requests and following up to praise God for the answers, which may come only years later, but brings a thrill when I realize the answer came.

I also find great help in memorizing scripture – this keeps on feeding the soul and spirit for days and years afterwards. I was able, at the peak of this practice, to memorize 18 or so complete Psalms – this totally surprised me because I have never been able to memorize anything before, at least, not without great effort. Many a night have I been able to get rid of insomnia by rectiting Psalm 1, Psalms 8, 19, 23, and 27. (For a blessing, watch John Piper quote from memory for some 20 minutes many passages of scripture: http://tinyurl.com/johnpiperquotes)

One thing that is not easy for me is to seek friendship with others – I am a loner by nature; but when I spend real quality time in conversation with another believer, and if it is centered on Jesus, I find that there is a third person always there – Jesus, Himself. It reminds me each time it happens that 2 or 3 together in His name is a natural gathering where He promises to be in a special way.

So, these are some practical ways of starting to seek the kingdom of God, of living in the reality of the eternal life with which God has gifted us. It boils down to living, abiding in the vine which is Jesus, and letting His life flow through me.

May the Lord teach me to be sensitive to those many times I tend to hurry away from the abiding because I suddenly have an idea of my own of something more worthwhile that I need to do, or because something happens to me to take my eyes off of His glorious face; or, more typically, of reacting to something that offends me and I grab my old defensive weapons to protect myself instead of trusting Him.

And gradually, He changes me, molds me into a true citizen of heaven, one who abides there and greatly desires with my whole heart to stay there forever.

May the Lord gently, but firmly turn my eyes away from myself and focus on Him. Amen.