Posted by: T. Boyd | October 15, 2019

A big step

From my Journal on 15 Oct. 2019

Screen Shot 2019-10-17 at 1.52.06 PM

A lesson from the GPS:  this morning we were driving home from a medical appointment at an office in an unusual place in the West End, and I told the GPS to take us home.  The given route to me was strange, and I must have missed a turn somewhere, because we wound up going north on I-95 and had to do some fast maneuvering to correct the mistake.

I got upset about it and was stressed out from not “being on top”, of not being the “master of my fate” in that situation.  I have always insisted on being able to understand what’s going on or how something works and get upset if I can’t solve or answer that question.

Then the thought came to me:  Why is that so important, why is that essential in my life? This mild example of my need to know where I am geographically, of my insistence of understanding things, is a part of my makeup that I need to take to the cross of Jesus and declare its death! 

That old self that keeps popping up is a large source of the stress and unrest to which I subject myself and others around me (especially Leslie, my wife).  That urgency and impatience that arises – that drive to conquer all things – stems from a sense of pride and need to appear clever in everyone’s eyes, to be superior to others.  It is not good;  it is actually evil!

So I pray that the following declaration may become true for me:  

I henceforth will respect the bible verse that says  that things revealed by God are mine, but things hidden from me belong to Him. 

(my paraphrase of Dt. 29:29)

By things revealed, I think would include the gift of curiosity that He gave me from birth.  And that would still motivate me in a righteous way in being interested in His creation as given in the verse: 

It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out. 

Proverbs 25:2

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